Catching up...

Yesterday was a busy day for the girls. They had their first visit with the pediatrician. This included some shots, bloodwork, tb skin test and general evaluation. The bloodwork will cover many, many test. They held up rather well... better than our bio children do under the same circumstance. I'm sure this is partly because of the 'learned' higher pain tolerance and the 'learned' no point in crying anyway. Both gave a quick outcry at initial stick, but quickly composed themselves again. It was convenient, but sad when you think about why. We have cardiologist appointments already set up for next week for both girls and we are glad since the pediatrician commented on hearing a heart murmur for both girls. Sophia's was more pronounced, but Anastasia's comes as more of a surprise. Prayers the cardiologist visit goes well next week, but mainly that the doctors find everything they need to help the girls and we are able to get them medical care.

Now... I've mentioned the little quirks before so here is a little more on those. Sophia seems to do the 'suckling' thing when tired or nervous/upset. Same with Anastasia and the hideous teeth grinding. We are really hoping some of this will fade quickly because the teeth grinding will drive you nuts and we are concerned about the damage to her teeth (this is not your average teeth grinding!). One night the 3 little girls were in bed and Abby called out "She keeps making this creepy sound!" We understand, Abby! We UNDERSTAND!

This may sound terrible, but I think many of you moms will know what I am talking about! I am at the point where I want to climb out of my own skin. I just have a moment every now and then when I do not want to be touched! Thankfully, God, makes us recover quickly. I reach this point, but it usually ends fairly quickly. I have been driven to this due to the constant competition for more affection. I love hugs and kisses just like everyone else, but we are going through a battle for affection here where they are keeping tabs. Sophia is mainly the one doing this. If she sees you kiss or hug Anastasia (or someone else, but mainly Anastasia) then she quickly shoves her way into the front and waits on the same to be given to her. I know they have not had the affection they have needed, but this is more of a jealous thing than a spontaneous need for your affection. She is wanting her kiss/hug because you 'owe' her one so that she is equal or ahead of Anastasia in the affection tally. It is not the same as a geniune desire for your affection. It drives me nuts! If she feels that she has not been shown equal or more affection/attention she will 'reject' you. Again.. I know this is a defense mechanism she has established due to her years of not receiving the love of a family and having to struggle for the shared attention of caretakers with 19 other children. The problem is that I can not constantly pour affection into one child. There are other children here that need their fair share as well. So this has been our struggle with Sophia. Yesterday, I think I made a little headway. At the doctor Anastasia had to sit next to me while I held Sophia for her exam. No problem. Afterwards we had to switch so Sophia was next to me and I could hold Anastasia for her turn with the pediatrician. I started noticing that Sophia wouldn't let me hold her hand. I would pick up her hand again and she would place my hand back in my lap. We did this over and over because I was determined that she would not be allowed to 'reject' me just because Anastasia was in my lap. After many, many rounds of this hand holding/removing cycle she finally just turned around in her chair so that her back was to me altogether. This is her theory "if I can't have all of you, I want none of you". Well... I decided to try something different. I turned my back on her as well. (I know... HARSH!) It wasn't a minute later when her little hand crept around the side of me. I took her hand, smiled and turned back towards her again. I'm just praying they (Sophia mainly)will soon understand that there is plenty of room in our home and hearts for all of our kids so there is no need to keep score.

Ok... before I go. The girls got their first haircuts (with us anyway!) No major changes, just evened out the rough edges. Here are a few pics for you! Both girls seemed to enjoy having their hair cut. (for whatever reason these are showing up in reverse order... I don't have time to correct so just know they are reversed!)